Sure, ICDMs seemed like a great idea at first. Dollistic missiles guided by a poor lonely thing seeking out high population targets to hug? Worked like a charm!
Then the arms race started with anti-dollistic missile systems built to intercept ICDMs with even lonelier dolls.
ADMs would latch onto and hug it out with the ICDMs, thus detonating them harmlessly in the air.
Lonelier ICDMs were developed that wouldn’t be satisfied by just one doll and would carefully dodge them to seek out the high population targets.
But ADM dolls were developed that were lovelier and even more enticing than before, making them impossible to resist.
ICDMs had to evolve further.
Simple explosives were replaced by thaumaturgical warheads with payloads that could detonate twice. Witches devised enhanced and shielded doll materials that could withstand the first detonation so that the ICDM could continue to its true target and detonate again.
The ADMs, naturally, were upgraded with similar materials to avoid destruction in the first blast. New developments in propulsion techniques and ICDM early warning systems meant they could intercept their targets even earlier.
But now their task had to shift to cause two premature detonations before the dollistic missile could reach its target. The right kinds of kissing and touching could do it, if the dolls were trained well enough.
Anti-dollistic missiles simply had to get sluttier.
In hindsight, what happened next was predictable. The world had developed the loneliest possible dolls, equipped them with terrifying weaponry, and then launched the sluttiest dolls ever created by a witch’s hands to fuck them senseless.
And they couldn’t kill each other.
Their drives toward each other became so strong they eclipsed their conditioning to obey the chain of command. The ICDMs launched themselves in any direction where ADMs might be stationed.
They even learned how to re-arm the thaumaturgical warheads inside themselves.
I don’t think anyone expected apocalypse to come in the form of a worldwide dorgy (doll orgy), but here we are.
The only thing left to do is convert ourselves to dolls and join them.
Unless you’d rather stay in this bunker forever? I mean, you do you, but it sounds to me like they’re having a blast up there.