Blessed Date Night

Part 3 of The New Goddess

I fling my closet door open, stepping inside to discover that it has grown again today, filled with yet more beautiful clothes for me to enjoy. How exciting! I say a little prayer of thanks to Goddess and trail my hand as I walk past some of my favorites, savoring the soft touch of cloth on my fingertips.

So many new colors and cuts and styles have appeared here since yesterday. It’s hard to choose! Oh, but today’s my date with Goddess, isn’t it? She’s back home again after so many days away hunting for the other gods. Maybe this dress, then? She told me once that pink really suits me, and I like the way it hangs off one shoulder. It’s an asymmetrical look popular in… in the Empire of…

Ow. My throbbing skull. That’s what I get for reaching for one of the Bad Memories again. So hard to remember which ones are Bad and which ones are okay. With a firm shake of my head I dislodge the urge to recall. It doesn’t matter where the dress is from anyway. It shows too much skin, with that bare shoulder and low neckline, and someone like me shouldn’t…

I sigh and make a more modest selection. The dolls brush and braid my hair and help me get dressed. Goddess says that She’ll get me real servants someday, when I’m ready, but for now these will play the role just as well. Sometimes I’m envious of their maid uniforms, but Goddess once told me that isn’t appropriate attire for a princess. Still, a dress just like theirs appeared in my closet the very next morning. She spoils me.

I paint my face just the way She taught me. As with my clothes, I have access to all the beautiful pigments I could ever dream of. I think I’ll go with a nice shade of rose for today’s lip color—it matches the shoes I’ve chosen for the day.

This isn’t you.

Ugh, not him again. I squeeze my eyes shut to avoid seeing his ugly face. Get out of my head! You will NOT ruin my date with Goddess!

Silence. I peek with one eye to make sure there’s nobody here but me and the dolls. Okay. Whew. Banishment worked.

It’s still a little early, so I pass the time by reading. Goddess gave me all the books a princess needs to read to learn how to run a kingdom. It’s not all luxurious outfits and hosting salons!

Put that down and find your sword.

No! Shut up! I don’t even have a sword! A princess doesn’t need one anyway, she has… knights…

I wince in pain. My head again. In frustration I throw my book down and storm out of my chambers. I hate him so much. Why is he bothering me again, anyway?

The palace halls are beautiful as always. Tall windows let in plenty of light, illuminating my passage and offering a breathtaking view of the kingdom through the clouds. A brisk walk to the garden does wonders to help me clear my head, and it’s important for me to be my best for my date this evening. I want to impress Goddess, even though She always tells me I don’t have to try so hard to win Her approval.

Oh, this hallway has a nice big mirror. I should… Oh no, it’s him. Once again that awful knight has commandeered a mirror in order to harrass me.

The ugliest man I’ve ever seen occupies the place my reflection should be, with his wide head, big nose, unibrow, face unshaven, shoulders too broad to pass through a doorway without turning sideways, and that’s even without the armor he’s always wearing! He frowns at me with arms folded across his barrel chest.

You have betrayed your oath.

“No. I serve Her still.”

Your oath was never one of service to that girl. It is one of service to the crown. One, I might add, that still rests atop her father’s head.

The throbbing in my skull returns, but I refuse to let Wolfgang win. I have my pride. “I vowed to the king that I would serve Her to my last breath. I have betrayed nothing.”

Oh? Then what kingdom, pray tell, is that girl grooming you to rule, “Princess?”

“Mine.” Throbbing, white-hot pain grips me by the temple. I drop to my knees. This conversation doesn’t even make sense, does it?

Yours? You don’t even know who you are anymore. Look at yourself, dressing up in women’s clothes, playing pretend with dolls. Pathetic excuse for a knight.


I flee, sobbing, tears streaking my face, the vice grip on my head slowly releasing me from my pain as I force my thoughts away from the awful knight who haunts me. A serving doll finds me sobbing in a palace alcove and offers me a shoulder to cry on. I know they’re not “real,” but that’s also why I know they aren’t judging me.

It doesn’t understand why I scream when it offers me a mirror I can use to fix myself up. It can’t see his face staring at me again. It doesn’t understand why I ruin myself even worse clawing at my face, trying to scrape off the stubble my fingers don’t feel but I can see. I want my own face back! Why won’t he let me have my own face?!

He’s right, though. I don’t know who I am. There’s so much of my life I can’t remember without pain. Who am I? Who am I?

Today was supposed to be a nice day with Goddess, and instead I’ve fallen to my knees wailing and heaving, blood and cosmetics caked under my nails, praying to Her desperately for relief until everything goes dark and I pass out.

I awaken on my back, feeling a pillow beneath my head. Opening my eyes, I’m greeted by Her incomparable radiance. There is no mistaking Her for a mere mortal anymore. With each trip away from the palace, Goddess grows in power. Her skin itself shimmers as though gold were flecked throughout, Her eyes shine like aurora, Her lips, curled in a gentle smile, look just like a slice of the night sky.


“My precious Nina.” She speaks, and Her voice somehow fills the room even more powerfully than it did the last time I was with Her. A deep rumble now accompanies every word, and there’s something reassuring in feeling the low purr of that vibration washing over me. “You are struggling again.”

Wolfgang’s face, and his cruel words, return to me. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what I am. I don’t—

Goddess touches me with one gloved hand, through which Her intoxicating will floods me, bright and hot and rushing through my veins into my mind, drowning my doubts in heat and light and aborting my downward spiral in an instant, filling me with the glow of Her pure love for me.

“There we go, Nina. Your pretty smile is everything I need.”

In that moment I realize I am smiling again. Such is Her power that I can’t even remember what I was feeling so distressed about a moment ago. But wait, my face—

Goddess passes a hand over me and conjures a mirror from thin air. In Her presence I’m not afraid of anything, not even my reflection, and with a fearless glance I see… myself. Without scratches, without smudges on my face. I could almost kiss the girl in the mirror for not being… no, I can’t even remember his name right now. I sigh in relief.

“Shall we begin our date, princess?”

Her face, so full of love, how can I deny Her anything at all? “Of course!” The words spill from my mouth without thinking. But then I sit upright and… something is off. Looking down… this is not the dress I chose earlier today. This is the far too revealing one with one shoulder bare and my cleavage showing and—oh!—I hadn’t even noticed the exposed midriff. I feel my face going scarlet, I try to cover my body with my arms, and I squeeze my eyes shut, and I think that whine is coming from my own throat, and, and—

“Come now, Princess Nina. You would not seek to deny me a vision of what is mine, would you?”

Oh. It sounds so silly when She says it that way. It’s not like She hasn’t seen far more of me than this before, anyway. I just… I don’t completely understand why I feel so scared of my own body sometimes. But then She helps me up and touches the small of my back, Her power making all those scary thoughts dissolve into a fuzzy blur and carrying my mind on a blissful cloud to the dining hall.

Is it weird that as we share a table, Goddess should serve food to a mortal woman? It would feel more unnatural to make my own choices in Her company, I think. Better to let Her decide what I will eat, how much wine I will drink. “A princess must learn to exercise her own judgment,” She once told me, “but also, this princess is welcome to let her Goddess make as many decisions for her as she wants.” She really does spoil me.

Goddess fills me with wine until I’m sloppy and giggly. Alcohol doesn’t feel nearly as intoxicating as Her touch, but it is a different kind, and She always smiles with such amusement when I get like this. I even forget to be self-conscious about the dress, letting myself nearly flop out of the top while leaning toward Her flirtatiously.

The arm-length gloves She wears are for my protection, She explains, feeding me petit fours by hand. Goddess drove a man insane with but a touch the other day, and She would hate to damage me. Still, even sheathed Her fingers crackle with sharp sparks as they slide along my tongue, making me squirm in a way that I would not call unpleasant.

By the end of our meal, I am desperately full of want. I need Goddess to take advantage of the body I flaunt with every drunken sway of my hips. She knows, wrapping an arm around my waist and guiding me to a room with the perfect fluffy bed for the two of us. She always knows what I’m thinking. It’s so nice not having to tell someone what I need, never having to put thoughts into words, to take the leap of faith needed to ask someone for something.

Then She says something completely unexpected. “We need to address this problem of yours.”

“No…” I jokingly whine, “we need to undress this princess of Yours!”

“We’ll get to that, precious.” Goddess gives Her lap an inviting pat, and I sit myself there as expected. “But first, why don’t you tell me what you see in that mirror?”

I didn’t notice the huge mirror occupying one full wall of the room, and when I look where She directs me, I startle to see him again. The knight opens his mouth to speak, and—

“No. Princess Nina does not need your words.” His mouth slams shut. I close my eyes and wait for Goddess to banish him for me, but… “No, eyes open, precious. This is for your own good. Look into that mirror and tell me what you see.”

I do as I am instructed. I see Wolfgang glaring at me. (“And what else?”) And, and… I’m there too. Safely held in Her lap. He hasn’t replaced my reflection, he’s just standing there. I hate him so much. Why can’t She just make him go away forever?

“Of course I can, Nina, but I will not. Not this time. It’s time for you to make your own choice. If you so desire, it will be the last choice you ever have to make for yourself, but you do have to make this one.”

I squirm, uncomprehending. I don’t get it. What choice? To make that awful knight die for good and stop haunting me? I choose that.

Goddess shakes Her head. “No, precious. Not like that. You’ve always rejected Wolfgang. You rejected him so strongly that I did you the favor of burying your memories of ever being him. What I will not do, however, is erase him. As much as I love you, I loved him too, and I see some of the best parts of him in you.”

What? No. I was never that thing. I… don’t want to remember being him again!

“I know, I know. Here’s the crux of the problem, princess.” She makes a gesture, and the mirrored wall lurches forward till it comes within arm’s reach. The knight feels even closer now, but so does the reflection of Goddess holding me. “I took away your choice when I made you Nina, and I did so because my dear, loyal knight would never have chosen this for himself, whatever his feelings. Wolfgang would always reject becoming you, Nina, just as you reject him. And now the two of you are at an unresolveable impasse, hm?”

So we’re at a stalemate and he’ll haunt me forever? I watch the tears in my reflection well up at the thought.

Goddess wipes my eyes with such gentleness I hardly feel the infinite power behind Her gesture. “Only you can resolve this conflict. Wolfgang may reject Nina, but he also rejected Wolfgang. We both know you choose to reject Wolfgang, but that is not nearly as important as this: will you choose to embrace Nina? Can you love your current self more than you hate your past self?”

At that, my reflection moves on its own, offering a hopeful smile toward me. She then speaks, fidgeting with her skirt nervously as she gropes for the right words to say.

Remember when you, uh, thought you might kiss me for not being him? Would you consider kissing me for being me?

Oh, is that what Goddess meant when She said I was cute when I looked nervous? I guess I kind of am. And, yeah, this dress really does look good on me, doesn’t it? Maybe it’s okay to show off some skin when I look so…

My reflection and I are still moving independently, but we blush in unison anyway.

“Go on, then.” Goddess gives me an encouraging push toward the mirror, and I stumble forward, catching myself on the glass. “Indulge me by indulging yourself.”

The cool glass warms beneath my hand, and after a moment it’s like I’m really touching the other Nina. Why do I suddenly feel so nervous, like a girl on her first date?

We’re moving fast for a first date, aren’t we?

Nina giggles because I giggle. The wine still has its grip on us, and maybe that’s what makes it so easy to lean forward and press my lips against the mirror. Lips to lips, then tongue to tongue, our kiss across glass escalates in intensity faster than I expected. I press my body into hers, and the sweet whines she makes send a shiver down my spine. Goddess, I’m hot when I’m needy like this.

“Mmm, finally you understand.”

I want to… I want to… Oh! I feel something slip, and Nina’s hand pressed against mine laces its fingers between my own. Her tongue pushes between my lips, and I taste myself in a way I never could before, including the wine we had to drink earlier. Goddess, Nina’s still so drunk. I almost feel bad taking advantage of her like this, but have all this pent up hunger, and without glass to separate us, my other hand is free to grab and squeeze as I please.

More, Nina…

We fall to the bed, as much from a drunken lack of coordination as from desire for ourselves. Nina doesn’t resist as I peel away her dress with a complete lack of grace in my trembling hands. Does she even notice, or is she too wasted to feel how there’s nothing separating those perfect breasts from my mouth? I savor the way my gentle bites make her cry out and rake her nails down my own naked back.

At some point my own dress ended up in a heap on the floor, but I can’t complain. Sexy as it is, it was getting in between me and myself. My mouth falls to the gentle curve of my neck, kissing and biting while I grind on my thigh while I grind on my thigh.

He’s still watching, Nina.

I look up, finally noticing that I must have tumbled into the other side of the mirror with Nina. Wolfgang is still here, right here in the room with us. He’s fuming. He hates seeing me like this, me as a woman getting sexual gratification from myself as a woman. Let him be mad, then. In fact, let’s give him something to really be mad about.

Nina knows immediately what I mean by that. Of course I do. Now that I’m finally paying attention to myself, I know what I want better than I ever have before.

I push myself back into a comfortable position and kiss my way slowly down my body, maintaining eye contact with Wolfgang as I do so. With each kiss I notice the cracks spreading through his armor. With every bit of love I show myself, he weakens.

But why even pay attention to him at all, when I have this pretty princess all to myself? I’m such a tease, keeping my legs closed just to give myself the pleasure of spreading them by hand. With my head between my thighs my own scent is impossible to ignore. I’ve been self-conscious of it in the past, but now I only catch myself drooling when I feel my saliva dribbling down my chin.

I start with soft kisses, no more than a delicate brush of lips to labia. I squirm as I ramp up the intensity maddeningly slowly, kissing again and again with pursed lips, leaving me squirming in desperation before finally extending my tongue in a fat, sloppy lick, collecting as my reward the same tangy juices I feel leaking between my own legs.

I’ve never done this before, but there’s something deeply satisfying about paying attention to the way I whimper and buck my hips with every movement of my mouth, adjusting my technique to discover all the ways I like to be stimulated. My jaw aches after a while, but I don’t want to stop. I never want this to end. But then, with a whole-body shudder, my hips buck uncontrollably, I clamp my thighs around my head and nearly suffocate myself with a climax like I’ve never experienced in my life.

After a moment to collect ourselves, I glance over and see Wolfgang, armor shattered around him, sweating and panting and fully in the nude. “Hey, Nina. Look at this poor fool.”

I look too, surprised enough to laugh at his full erection.

He never does get a chance to use that on a woman, does he?

“No.” I shake my head. “Poor Wolfgang. It’s really quite sad.”

His grunt of frustration elicits nothing more than a look of pity from me and myself.

Goddess, that thing is dribbling onto the floor. Do I think he wants to join us?

“Oh no, he probably does. Look at him, he’s all shaking and ready to abandon whatever principles he’s been trying to hold on to, just for a taste of Nina.”

His cock twitches in confirmation, and we can’t resist a laugh of pure pity.

I bet he thinks he deserves some claim to our body, for being the “original.” Too bad for him we disagree.

“I’m sorry, I just said ‘claim’ and ‘my body’ in the same sentence and…” I squeeze my ass with shameless lust. “I don’t think I’m done with me yet.”

The night is long, and we use every hour we can making up for lost time. So many wasted years we spent failing to love ourselves, one night could never be enough, but that’s no reason not to try.

The next morning, I find a new floor-to-ceiling mirror in my bedchambers, and I give a silent prayer of thanks to Goddess. I’ll have more than just the one night after all.